I missed seeing you both this morning. Oh, @lizadebevec, sending healing energy for the highest level wellness - soon.
I had an interesting parallel to the Unsubscribe discussion. I raced to the library when a book I was really intrigued with became available. Both the author and the book were highly, highly regarded. Couldn't wait to start reading it.
I discovered almost immediately that I just couldn't read it. It was written in little stream of consciousness phrases, and they were disjointed. I read on, hoping to find the point where I could engage and all would be made clear. Didn't happen.
The Unsubscribe thing must be similar. In my case, It was simply the form of writing - the author's VOICE in this particular medium - that didn't speak to me. Her actual speaking voice sounds like a meditation which is one of the things that attracted me. She's written other award-winning books and I'll search those out.
An author is in no way lessened by the fact that some readers don't relate to or understand her style. We all get to choose; some choices work, others don't.
As a somewhat new author in a public forum, though, losing subscribers or feeling stagnated is often a hard pill to swallow. Anxious for your conversation in January.
This is such a good point. I have had that same experience with books, movies, television shows, and all forms of art. I'd guess most of us even have an example of not liking something that everyone else in the world seems to love. And also, as you say, it's very discouraging when you don't see the needle moving, or when it's only moving backwards.
At least a couple of times a year I get discouraged to the point of wondering if I should quit and do something else. For me, the discouragement is almost always tied in some way to my attachment to outcome. I always have to sit with it for a while, staring it down, before I can work my way out. And also, sometimes the answer IS to quit and do something else, so I wonder if I just need to keep asking myself the question?
Sometimes the unsubscribes have nothing to do with you as a writer or a person. Sometimes people just blindly unsubscribe because their email box is full. It's all ok. Let people make their choices on how they want to receive (or not receive) your content. And focus on all the new subscribers who are coming down the line.
Thank you so much, Rebecca for this important reflection!
My difficulty is expressing and making people understand what I want to say through my posts!
I think I’ve lost—or at least I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster—because my story is very personal: I share my family’s and my region’s recipes in a very intimate way.
Another thing is that, being Italian and having Italian as my first language, speaking to such a vast audience from different cultures in a language that is not my own probably creates another filter!
That said, I am so happy to have created and found a community where, even though we are far apart, there is closeness! I Hope Liza is feeling better!!!
I relate to this Christine. I feel like I've struggled to really get clear on what I'm doing here and how to communicate the things that are unique to my newsletter. I think, as I just keep at it, that I'm getting better. But, it's challenging! One thing that's helping me: I feel that my about page and my bio finally express what I'm doing here. With every single issue, I'm using that text as a mirror and asking myself, "Am I accomplishing this in this issue? If this was the first thing people read, would they feel it was inline with what is on the About page?"
Hi Liza! I’m not sure if you’ve read my comment or what you think about it. I’d really appreciate some feedback because, in addition to losing subscribers and having difficulty getting my posts seen, my last three posts have performed very poorly.
Hi Christine, I am no expert myself, but I think there is an overall saturation of posts at Xmas and people are busy with their lives, so it is not personal. I try to engage with comments I have, going back to see if I missed any, so I respond if there is sth to respond to. Also restacking my own posts a couple of times to to ensure that people see them- Also when I get new followers/readers, I restack some old posts that I feel like could be relevant again. And then the rest is really luck and algorithm.
I am unlikely going to get to bestseller status ever, but I like what the group conversation on Zoom today agreed on- we’re largely here to have a good time and make connections.
Grazie, Liza! I’m not here for that reason either, but because I wanted to have a place where I could bring together my family’s culinary history, even if it’s a simple one.
And also because of the beauty of having people who read, and a community made up of real people who love what they do.
This was a very valuable post for me, Rebecca. Thank you! I tracked with everything, particularly the notion that putting your "creation" (whatever that creation is) out there is a courageous and worthwhile thing, regardless of outcome. At the same time, exploring the relative importance of outcome is - well - relevant. Outcome arrives in many forms - money, recognition (a.k.a. subscribers), internal satisfaction, I'm sure there is more. That also might be interesting to discuss.
Thank you so much for leaving your thoughts here Anne! I’m glad some of this resonated with you and love your observation that outcome arrives in many forms. We sometimes get what we want but not in the way we want it. I agree that this would be an interesting part of the discussion. I’d guess most of us have examples.
Thanks, Rebecca, for such helpful insight. Seems like this topic could still be relevant once Lisa is back on her feet…
The best way for me to detach from outcomes and prevent the endless internal debate over what could possibly have caused the reader to unsubscribe is to shut off the unsub notification in my dashboard. Also considering shutting off subscriber count on said dashboard for 2026.
Oooh, I have two takes on this: one as a writer and one as a reader.
As a writer, I think a lot of us start out super clear and excited. We know what we want to say, we know who we’re talking to. Then we start publishing, get a little traction, and suddenly we’re reading allll the “how to grow” advice. Some of it is helpful, but somewhere in there it’s easy to lose the original vision. The unique, specific things that made our work ours get sanded down, and the whole thing starts to feel more… vanilla. That’s the danger for me, at least. I want to be super creative but I also want people to like it.
As a reader, I unsubscribe when I notice I’m not actually seeking out the content, or when the writer doesn’t subscribe to me and I’m not getting much value from what they share, or when the newsletter has gone silent for months. I stepped away from my own Substack for a year and was shocked anyone was still subscribed when I came back. For me, unsubscribing usually isn’t about the quality of the writing. It’s about whether it fits the season I’m in. I’ve subscribed to plenty of the “big names” on here and unsubscribed from them too. There's only a handful of newsletters I constantly go back to on purpose, and with about two exceptions, I pay for those.
And then there’s my recruiter brain. I was a recruiter in the military, and one of my mentors told me something that’s stuck with me and is useful in all types of relationships: the faster you get through the No’s, the sooner you get to the Yes. If someone isn’t for you, it’s actually a gift to find that out quickly so you can stop pouring energy there and focus on finding your people. I think of unsubscribes the same way - they’re just part of sorting out who your real Yeses are. When I first started, I turned off my unsubscribe notifications and don't really think about them. I do try to consciously focus on my upward trajectory because that keeps this entire experience much more positive and exciting.
"The faster you get through the No’s, the sooner you get to the Yes. If someone isn’t for you, it’s actually a gift to find that out quickly so you can stop pouring energy there and focus on finding your people." - Yes!!!
I missed seeing you both this morning. Oh, @lizadebevec, sending healing energy for the highest level wellness - soon.
I had an interesting parallel to the Unsubscribe discussion. I raced to the library when a book I was really intrigued with became available. Both the author and the book were highly, highly regarded. Couldn't wait to start reading it.
I discovered almost immediately that I just couldn't read it. It was written in little stream of consciousness phrases, and they were disjointed. I read on, hoping to find the point where I could engage and all would be made clear. Didn't happen.
The Unsubscribe thing must be similar. In my case, It was simply the form of writing - the author's VOICE in this particular medium - that didn't speak to me. Her actual speaking voice sounds like a meditation which is one of the things that attracted me. She's written other award-winning books and I'll search those out.
An author is in no way lessened by the fact that some readers don't relate to or understand her style. We all get to choose; some choices work, others don't.
As a somewhat new author in a public forum, though, losing subscribers or feeling stagnated is often a hard pill to swallow. Anxious for your conversation in January.
This is such a good point. I have had that same experience with books, movies, television shows, and all forms of art. I'd guess most of us even have an example of not liking something that everyone else in the world seems to love. And also, as you say, it's very discouraging when you don't see the needle moving, or when it's only moving backwards.
At least a couple of times a year I get discouraged to the point of wondering if I should quit and do something else. For me, the discouragement is almost always tied in some way to my attachment to outcome. I always have to sit with it for a while, staring it down, before I can work my way out. And also, sometimes the answer IS to quit and do something else, so I wonder if I just need to keep asking myself the question?
Sometimes the unsubscribes have nothing to do with you as a writer or a person. Sometimes people just blindly unsubscribe because their email box is full. It's all ok. Let people make their choices on how they want to receive (or not receive) your content. And focus on all the new subscribers who are coming down the line.
Oh, I was so looking forward to this conversation but hope Liza feels better ASAP! Thank you for sharing your notes!
Thank you so much, Rebecca for this important reflection!
My difficulty is expressing and making people understand what I want to say through my posts!
I think I’ve lost—or at least I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster—because my story is very personal: I share my family’s and my region’s recipes in a very intimate way.
Another thing is that, being Italian and having Italian as my first language, speaking to such a vast audience from different cultures in a language that is not my own probably creates another filter!
That said, I am so happy to have created and found a community where, even though we are far apart, there is closeness! I Hope Liza is feeling better!!!
I relate to this Christine. I feel like I've struggled to really get clear on what I'm doing here and how to communicate the things that are unique to my newsletter. I think, as I just keep at it, that I'm getting better. But, it's challenging! One thing that's helping me: I feel that my about page and my bio finally express what I'm doing here. With every single issue, I'm using that text as a mirror and asking myself, "Am I accomplishing this in this issue? If this was the first thing people read, would they feel it was inline with what is on the About page?"
Thank you so much for the inspiration!!🤗
Hi Christine, I am feeling better :-)
Hi Liza! I’m not sure if you’ve read my comment or what you think about it. I’d really appreciate some feedback because, in addition to losing subscribers and having difficulty getting my posts seen, my last three posts have performed very poorly.
Thank you so much.
Hi Christine, I am no expert myself, but I think there is an overall saturation of posts at Xmas and people are busy with their lives, so it is not personal. I try to engage with comments I have, going back to see if I missed any, so I respond if there is sth to respond to. Also restacking my own posts a couple of times to to ensure that people see them- Also when I get new followers/readers, I restack some old posts that I feel like could be relevant again. And then the rest is really luck and algorithm.
I am unlikely going to get to bestseller status ever, but I like what the group conversation on Zoom today agreed on- we’re largely here to have a good time and make connections.
Grazie, Liza! I’m not here for that reason either, but because I wanted to have a place where I could bring together my family’s culinary history, even if it’s a simple one.
And also because of the beauty of having people who read, and a community made up of real people who love what they do.
This was a very valuable post for me, Rebecca. Thank you! I tracked with everything, particularly the notion that putting your "creation" (whatever that creation is) out there is a courageous and worthwhile thing, regardless of outcome. At the same time, exploring the relative importance of outcome is - well - relevant. Outcome arrives in many forms - money, recognition (a.k.a. subscribers), internal satisfaction, I'm sure there is more. That also might be interesting to discuss.
Thank you so much for leaving your thoughts here Anne! I’m glad some of this resonated with you and love your observation that outcome arrives in many forms. We sometimes get what we want but not in the way we want it. I agree that this would be an interesting part of the discussion. I’d guess most of us have examples.
Thanks, Rebecca, for such helpful insight. Seems like this topic could still be relevant once Lisa is back on her feet…
The best way for me to detach from outcomes and prevent the endless internal debate over what could possibly have caused the reader to unsubscribe is to shut off the unsub notification in my dashboard. Also considering shutting off subscriber count on said dashboard for 2026.
Yes. Agree 100%.
Oooh, I have two takes on this: one as a writer and one as a reader.
As a writer, I think a lot of us start out super clear and excited. We know what we want to say, we know who we’re talking to. Then we start publishing, get a little traction, and suddenly we’re reading allll the “how to grow” advice. Some of it is helpful, but somewhere in there it’s easy to lose the original vision. The unique, specific things that made our work ours get sanded down, and the whole thing starts to feel more… vanilla. That’s the danger for me, at least. I want to be super creative but I also want people to like it.
As a reader, I unsubscribe when I notice I’m not actually seeking out the content, or when the writer doesn’t subscribe to me and I’m not getting much value from what they share, or when the newsletter has gone silent for months. I stepped away from my own Substack for a year and was shocked anyone was still subscribed when I came back. For me, unsubscribing usually isn’t about the quality of the writing. It’s about whether it fits the season I’m in. I’ve subscribed to plenty of the “big names” on here and unsubscribed from them too. There's only a handful of newsletters I constantly go back to on purpose, and with about two exceptions, I pay for those.
And then there’s my recruiter brain. I was a recruiter in the military, and one of my mentors told me something that’s stuck with me and is useful in all types of relationships: the faster you get through the No’s, the sooner you get to the Yes. If someone isn’t for you, it’s actually a gift to find that out quickly so you can stop pouring energy there and focus on finding your people. I think of unsubscribes the same way - they’re just part of sorting out who your real Yeses are. When I first started, I turned off my unsubscribe notifications and don't really think about them. I do try to consciously focus on my upward trajectory because that keeps this entire experience much more positive and exciting.
"The faster you get through the No’s, the sooner you get to the Yes. If someone isn’t for you, it’s actually a gift to find that out quickly so you can stop pouring energy there and focus on finding your people." - Yes!!!
I love the quote you used from William James. It applies to all aspects of life, not just losing subscribers. Thanks for sharing.
It's one of my favorite quotes as well. One I need to read frequently for the reminder.