Everything Has a Shelf Life, Even Your Business
Burnout is normal. Here's what to do about it.
I have what might be an unpopular opinion: All relationships have a shelf life.
When you reach the expiration date, one of two things has to happen. The relationship expires and you both move on. Or, the relationship becomes something new. Everything changes and either the relationship evolves with the people in it or it doesn’t and it’s over.
This opinion is based on my own 31-year marriage, which has changed and evolved many times over, on my experience with friendships, some of which have evolved and some that have expired, and on my observations of the relationships of others. Some relationships serve a purpose for a while, and then they don’t. They were beneficial and now they’re not. Years ago a friend of mine expressed regret over the “failure” of her 30-year marriage. I interrupted and suggested that she had a successful 30 year marriage that ended. Forever is not necessarily the marker of success.
This is what I mean about a shelf life. And I think it also applies to businesses. All businesses have a shelf life.
How do you know when you’ve reached the expiration date? Burnout.
I’m not going to suggest that burnout is the only clue that something is past its prime, or that reaching an expiration date is always the cause of burnout. But I will go so far as to say that 9 times out of 10 the two are inexorably linked.
And look. I’m not talking about those times when you’re exhausted. The kids aren’t sleeping, you’ve caught a cold, your spouse is out of town, your car broke down, you’re behind on ten thousand different deadlines and you’re flat out exhausted. That sucks, we’ve all been there, but a hard week, even a hard year, is not burnout.
Burnout is when you find yourself in a constant state of apathy, where motivation is not just out of reach, it’s out of sight. You feel frustrated and angry about things that are only minor speed bumps. You don’t care about the business that you used to love and no matter what you do, you can’t make yourself care. You might be depressed or anxious, or you might have an overwhelming urge to quit everything, sell everything, cash out your 401(k), and go live on a boat.
Years ago, when I was a freelance consultant and copywriter, I spent an entire afternoon cleaning the tops of the cabinets in our kitchen. The tops of the cabinets towered 12 feet off the ground. No one could see them and the accumulated dust had absolutely zero impact on our lives. I did this on an afternoon when I was up against a deadline to finish the copy for a client’s website. As I stared at the blinking cursor on my screen, suddenly the dust on the top of our kitchen cabinets seemed like it was the most important, most pressing, most urgent problem in my life. That’s how much I didn’t want to do the job I once leapt out of bed for. That was the day I faced the truth: I’d reached an expiration date and something had to give.
Most successful creators start with a passion to create.
They take the spark, the idea, the impulse, the passion, and turn it into something real and tangible. Where there once was only an idea, now there is a creation. Then, sometime after they’ve been creating for a while, they wonder if they could make a business from their art. They think, wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could do this all the time and get paid for it?
And it IS wonderful… and also now it is their job. The lines between their life and their job become wonderfully and terribly blurred because the thing they love to do is now also the thing they have to do to pay the bills. Or, I should say, to almost pay the bills because, let’s face it, making a living as a creator is not an easy task.
So, now there is pressure, a lot of pressure, to make more money from the thing they used to do for free, because they loved it. They are working more than ever, or maybe just doing the thing they love more than ever? Except it feels like work. And suddenly they resent the thing they used to love the most.
So, what if this is you? Or, an even better question: What if you can see this becoming you?
If you relate, there are a couple of things I want to tell you. First of all, EVERYTHING has an expiration date. In other words, burnout is normal. There’s nothing wrong with you, there’s nothing wrong with your work.
But, how do you get back to loving the thing you used to love? Or how do you know when it’s just not a good fit any more?
In most cases, the answer comes back to values.
At one point, when you were doing the thing you love because you loved it, it was pure. It was YOU. It sprung forth from the things you care about the most, from the things that make you, you. It’s not just that the thing was aligned with your values, it’s that the thing was inseparable from your values.
And then, in your quest to build a business, things got a little off track. You followed the advice and examples of other creatives, thought leaders, business coaches, or gurus promising to show you the money. It might not have been bad advice. But it might not have all been aligned with your values.
Perhaps it feels like this: One day, you wake up and look around you and realize you’ve invested all your time and resources building a modest brick ranch-style home in the suburbs when what you’ve always longed for is a row house in the middle of a big city.
Or, perhaps it feels like this: You try, every single day, to light the burner on your gas range and it never, ever lights because there’s no oxygen in the room. The spark is there, but it won’t ignite no matter how many times you try.
The spark hasn’t gone away because it’s part of your DNA. It’s who you are. The problem is that something about the structure and makeup of your business is out of whack, out of alignment with who you are and what you care about the most. The business of doing the thing you love is robbing you of the thing you love.
So, the real question becomes this: What needs to change in order to create the best environment for your creativity, one that lights that spark and fans the flame?
Maybe the question is not how can I create a thriving business?
Maybe the question is how can I create a business that allows me to thrive?
Here’s an example: Let’s say that flexibility and autonomy are at the core of who you are. You start a recipe website, it grows, you monetize it. You launch a Substack newsletter. It grows, it starts to generate revenue. You can’t do everything, so you bring on a contractor. Then another, then another. Business is good. You hire a full-time employee. Then another. Business is good, great even. But, you wake up every morning with a desire to clean the dust from the tops of your kitchen cabinets. Why? Because you’ve built a business with no flexibility and autonomy. The spark is there, but there’s no oxygen in the room. Your plate is full, so very full! But, nothing on it is nourishing you.
So, how do you scale a business when the business is you?
That’s what Liza Debevec and I created this workshop to figure out.
Correction. That’s what we created this workshop to help YOU figure out: Creating a Values-Led Brand. Because we don’t have the answers, you do. What we bring to the table is a framework, a set of tools and resources and decades of experience to guide you as you identify your values and create a strategic plan for how to align your business, your brand, with who you are.
This is a two-part workshop. The first session will be instructional and will include homework. The second session will be a hands-on workshop where we will roll up our sleeves and get to work. You will come away from this lab with:
A clearer understanding of the core values that define your brand and creative work
A stronger sense of your innate value: the strengths, qualities, and perspective you naturally bring to your work
Language for communicating what you do and why it matters with more clarity and confidence
A values-based framework for making decisions about opportunities, collaborations, boundaries, and growth
A more aligned strategy for showing up consistently and attracting the right readers and opportunities
A strong brand is not just how people recognize your work. It is how your work becomes more honest, sustainable, and distinctly your own. It’s how you create a business that allows you to thrive.
Join us.
My 'Burnout' with my then website came in early 2018. It was a community that I'd spent 8 years building. The anxiety had been brewing for several months, and the passion and enthusiasm were gradually leaving me day by day. I knew I had to do something when, as I climbed into bed, I had the sudden dread that I would not wake up the next morning.
It was then that I decided to close everything down. Once I'd made the decision, and I can tell you it was a very difficult decision to make, I had the best night's sleep in months.
Other websites have come and gone, and as the first anniversary of my husband's death is almost upon me, I am once again trying to build something, not with any intention of monetising, but to generate the sparkle I once had all those years ago.
This is so well put together and makes so much sense. And would explain why I encourage my students to remember that a pivot is not the end of the world, it's simply new growth. You still carry all of the skills and training you learned wherever else you were, you never lose those, yet you're also avoiding being stuck in a rut for the rest of your life.